oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
