I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
