I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
