I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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