community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
