I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
