My boss' voice literally gives me gas
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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