Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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