I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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