I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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