Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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