i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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