Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
