Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
