yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
