drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
