Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
