Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
