we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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