Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
