I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
