its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and she was petting her beer can
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
