Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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