Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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