They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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