And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
