i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The power of my boobs compel you
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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