True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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