Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
