I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
