he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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