i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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