i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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