i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
