You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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