i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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