You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
