I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
