Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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