She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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