i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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