I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
