I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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