then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That's intense
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
