We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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