38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
