Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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