Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
this boner is exhausting
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
