Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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