We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
