try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
